You're on to me, and all over me

Still stuck at 21%: 79 days to go!

I have been having a hard time maintaining my positive attitude of last week. It seems that satan is throwing things into my life to drag me down. Between major health issues in my family and my almost family, to a negative attitude from others about my trip, to several run ins with people I prefer not to surround myself with anymore. It has been hurting my heart and making me doubt. Several people who are close to me have said "Well what happens when you don't get your money raised for Spain" (note the use of 'when' and not 'if') and they seem to scoff at me when I tell that I trust God to get me there, because that is where He has called me to be. Then when I am by myself, those negative thoughts start to creep in. What if they are right? What if all of my faith in this trip is just silly? What would I do if I can't get the money raised and I can't go? How would I possible pay back all the money that people have already given? I am trying to jut shake it off, but negativity is a persistant little annoyance. I need to remain faithful, but mostly I need for those around me to remain faithful (or at least keep their doubts to themselves) I DO truly believe this is where I am supposed to be next semester and I trust God to get me there.

I am constantly stuggling with discipline and time management. This is probably going to be a lifelong battle for me. I admire my friends who are so good at both. Now don't get me wrong, I love the fact that I am a dreamer and involved in so many things that I can't keep them straight. The only problem is that without discipline I end up trying to give of myself to too many things and I have nothing left for me. I have been feeling pulled in a million directions and unfortuantely the 2 areas that have suffered the most are my schoolwork and my personal music. I almost need just a free week locked in a blank room with my textbooks, a computer that can only do my homework, my music books and my keyboard. Can someone work on that? I need to catch up where I have fallen behind, but I don't know where to find the time. The past 2 weeks have flown by. Monday arrives before I even realize it and its time to start all over. Where can I find the time without trimming out the things that sustain me and make me feel whole? How can I make time for my quiet time, school, work, personal music, 3F music, jr high girls, family, friends, my health and everything that is important to me?

Yesterday Dan, Brittany, Halley and I went to Payson to hike at Natural Bridge. It was so refreshing and great to get away. I love being with them. It is amazing to me how much they are a part of my life now, when I hardly knew them a year ago. The hike was beautiful and just awe-inspiring, i love being silly with them one minute and then having serious conversations the next. On the way home I was driving and everyone else fell asleep. For about 45 minutes, it was just me, the highway and my I Heart CD. I felt peaceful and grateful for an amazing day.

I am just asking for some prayer support in a few areas:
- for God to continue to be faithful as I am raising support for my Spain trip.
- for those around me to be encouraging, and MY faith in God's calling me to this trip to continue
- Health issues in my family (I really can't be more specific at this time)
- Discipline and time management, knowing where to build up and what needs to come down.