Going through a rough time right now and can't write bc I can't even process this all for myself. I know that God is using this to make room for something in my life, but everything just hurts so much right now. I have to just keep trusting that this is all for a reason. He has a plan.
**********************
I am writing because I have to get rid of my dog, Scout. I need to find him a good home so I do not have to put him down. I am hoping that someone will be able to take him, or that you may know someone who can.
Scout is almost 5 years old, neutered male German Shepherd mix. He is microchipped and up to date on shots (or will be as of Tuesday). He went through training with me at Petsmart & I have had him since he was 2 weeks old, so he has no history of abuse or neglect. He is kennel trained, but does need to have an owner with a yard and someone who has history with dogs. Not good for a first-time pet owner as he requires more attention and dominance and Scout has never been around children, so I am not sure how he would react to them. He is has lived with another dog and with cats. (no harm has come to the cats, but he does like to chase them occasionally)
I have to get rid of him because he did have an incedent while a friend was petsitting this past weekend and she was hurt. Our homeowners insurance will not cover our house if we keep him because we had to file a claim with them in order to help pay her medical bills. I am trying to do what is best for my friend and also for Scout. I have spoken to his trainer and to my vet and we think it was an issue with food aggressiveness. This can be fixed with some attention and training. He just needs someone to give him the chance. Scout is currently in observation at the vet and at the end of observation will be up to date on his shots and cleared to go home on Tuesday evening. I am working to take care of the vet bills, whoever can take him would just need to pay the registration fees to the county and have Scout switched into their names. He is free to a good home and I will give you his kennel and all of his things. If there was any way that I could keep him, I would- I just need to know that he is going to be given a chance at the rest of his life and have someone to love him.
Please let me know if you are interested, or give my info to anyone you know that might be.
Saturday, July 25, 2009
Sunday, June 21, 2009
you can cross the line whenever you want to
So the last month had been interesting. Being home is really hard, much harder than originally anticipated. I miss Spain a lot, and while this gets better every day I am also worried that there will come a day where I don't miss it. I don't ever want to completely stop missing it. Part of my heart is still there and that will always be like a home to me.
I did something very dangerous tonight. We watched a video at church from a speaker from last year's Leadership Summit. One thing that she said really stuck out to me - she told everyone to just tell God to "Bring It On" and then be ready for whatever he gives you. So I told God- "Ok God, you know where my heart is, lets go. I am in this all the way." I have been thinking a lot about going back to Spain, leading a small group, taking on bigger roles in the ministries I serve in, adding new ministries.... you get the idea. I am just never sure when to say no. I have a hard time discerning the difference between the wants of the people around me (or my own) and what God has in mind. Less than an hour after this prayer, I was presented with an opportunity. Now I am still not sure if this is right or not, but I am going to prayerfully consider it and figure out where my life is going. I am scared, but so excited!
I did something very dangerous tonight. We watched a video at church from a speaker from last year's Leadership Summit. One thing that she said really stuck out to me - she told everyone to just tell God to "Bring It On" and then be ready for whatever he gives you. So I told God- "Ok God, you know where my heart is, lets go. I am in this all the way." I have been thinking a lot about going back to Spain, leading a small group, taking on bigger roles in the ministries I serve in, adding new ministries.... you get the idea. I am just never sure when to say no. I have a hard time discerning the difference between the wants of the people around me (or my own) and what God has in mind. Less than an hour after this prayer, I was presented with an opportunity. Now I am still not sure if this is right or not, but I am going to prayerfully consider it and figure out where my life is going. I am scared, but so excited!
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
tu cara en la cara de la luna
Well. I am officially home from Spain. It was a very very long journey and I am glad to be done with it. The next few days/weeks will be interesting. I am happy to be home and be with my family, but I am devastated that I am not in Spain and with my friends there. Its a weird place to be emotionally.
Last night when I was flying from Chicago to Phoenix, I had passed the point of crying (i think my body has just dried out for a bit) and was just staring out the window and thinking. Watching the world and God's creation turn into the scraggly, rough desert that is home to me. And I was thinking about how the desert really represents me and my growth this past year. (stay with me here.... I was really tired and emotional, so this could be a little crazy) I was thinking about how plants and animals in the desert have to work so hard and face the challenges to survive.... sun, heat, no water, hard dirt... but if you tried to put them in a different environment, they couldn't thrive there. I think that is where I was. I was like a cactus trying to live in a swamp. Not being challenged, not changing, just existing but not LIVING. And now I feel like a cactus in the desert (figuratively and literally) I feel like I understand who I am becoming and some of who God wants me to be. I think I came home from Spain a different person. I hope that other people will see that too (and think its a good thing)
I'm not prepared emotionally to talk about the last bit of Spain, but that will come soon. :)
Last night when I was flying from Chicago to Phoenix, I had passed the point of crying (i think my body has just dried out for a bit) and was just staring out the window and thinking. Watching the world and God's creation turn into the scraggly, rough desert that is home to me. And I was thinking about how the desert really represents me and my growth this past year. (stay with me here.... I was really tired and emotional, so this could be a little crazy) I was thinking about how plants and animals in the desert have to work so hard and face the challenges to survive.... sun, heat, no water, hard dirt... but if you tried to put them in a different environment, they couldn't thrive there. I think that is where I was. I was like a cactus trying to live in a swamp. Not being challenged, not changing, just existing but not LIVING. And now I feel like a cactus in the desert (figuratively and literally) I feel like I understand who I am becoming and some of who God wants me to be. I think I came home from Spain a different person. I hope that other people will see that too (and think its a good thing)
I'm not prepared emotionally to talk about the last bit of Spain, but that will come soon. :)
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Mercy Comes with the Morning
16 days left!
Every day here is different. I am on an emotional roller coaster right now. Some days I am ready to get on a plane and go home right then, and others I never want to leave Spain. Its weird. I am just trying to enjoy every moment, take lots of pictures and spend time with the people I will miss the most.
Here are a few specific dates coming up that we will need extra prayer for :)
Tuesday, April 28th- Tertulia. Kelly and Krin are giving the talk.
Thursday, April 30th- Our last Bible Study (there is one more after most of the XC students are gone)
Monday, May 4th- Exchange Student Despedida. Dinner with us and the team to review the semester and get a chance to say goodbye
Saturday, May 9th- End of Year Banquet. Our chance to say goodbye to all of the students and last night with the team and everyone here. We will have dinner and time at the house and then everyone goes out together until all hours of the morning.
Sunday May 10th/Monday May 11th- Rebecca, Meredith and I will take the last train to Madrid on sunday night so that we can board planes in the morning and head home! Please pray for safety in our journey & no problems. I will be flying by myself for the entire trip (Madrid to Munich, Munich to Chicago, Chicago to Phoenix) so I am hoping not to get lost or have any problems finding where I need to be!
We also still have a few more regular events left that I did not list specific dates for (the usual tues, wed, thurs events) and we are all trying to spend as much time loving on students as we can before we leave. Please just be praying for all of us to have opportunities to share with students and that their hearts will be open.
Every day here is different. I am on an emotional roller coaster right now. Some days I am ready to get on a plane and go home right then, and others I never want to leave Spain. Its weird. I am just trying to enjoy every moment, take lots of pictures and spend time with the people I will miss the most.
Here are a few specific dates coming up that we will need extra prayer for :)
Tuesday, April 28th- Tertulia. Kelly and Krin are giving the talk.
Thursday, April 30th- Our last Bible Study (there is one more after most of the XC students are gone)
Monday, May 4th- Exchange Student Despedida. Dinner with us and the team to review the semester and get a chance to say goodbye
Saturday, May 9th- End of Year Banquet. Our chance to say goodbye to all of the students and last night with the team and everyone here. We will have dinner and time at the house and then everyone goes out together until all hours of the morning.
Sunday May 10th/Monday May 11th- Rebecca, Meredith and I will take the last train to Madrid on sunday night so that we can board planes in the morning and head home! Please pray for safety in our journey & no problems. I will be flying by myself for the entire trip (Madrid to Munich, Munich to Chicago, Chicago to Phoenix) so I am hoping not to get lost or have any problems finding where I need to be!
We also still have a few more regular events left that I did not list specific dates for (the usual tues, wed, thurs events) and we are all trying to spend as much time loving on students as we can before we leave. Please just be praying for all of us to have opportunities to share with students and that their hearts will be open.
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
stuck in the middle with you
This is going to be really random, so I apologize in advance and thank you if you actually take the time to read all of it.
I have been feeling lost lately. Like I am stuck between the US and Spain. I think it all comes down to fear. I am afraid of going home- afraid that everyone will have moved on without me, afraid that I don't have a place or a purpose there anymore. I am afraid to leave Spain- afraid of what will happen with the students we have met, afraid to be without my team. I'm trying not to focus on it, and instead make the most of the time I have left here, but there is this calendar on my wall of the events we have left... and its only one piece of paper. 4 short weeks. I have a to-do list on my desktop. I have people I need to meet with. I have suitcases under my bed that are just screaming to be packed (I am ignoring that particular urge at the moment)
Semana Santa was... interesting. The processions are a little creepy and somber. The whole thing made me very sad though- I think that Catholics here focus too much on the death of Christ and never on the resurrection. Easter is not a happy day. Jesus is always pictured dying on the cross. There are giant crosses and statues that are carried around the city during these processions. To carry one of these is a great "honor"- I quoted that because they believe that by taking on this great weight you can be granted atonement. Here is where I think it all comes in to play. It breaks my heart that they don't think the death and resurrection of Jesus are enough. He didn't mean enough. They have to walk barefoot and carry a heavy load around a city and say so many special prayers to "deserve" heaven. Traditions like this make our job here so much harder. The students have grown up seeing this all of the time. To them, belief in Jesus has to be this sad, somber existence of always having to repay for your own sins. They are amazed that this is something we enjoy and we are constantly trying to show them that following Jesus can be exciting and fun and full of life.
The second half of Semana Santa I finally got to leave Salamanca and Whitney, Ansley, Rebecca and I drove to Valencia (on the Southeast coast of Spain). Correction: I drove, they backseat drove :) It was great to get away for a little bit, see the ocean, get to see another city, HAVE A STARBUCKS and just relax for a few days. The drive home was a little crazy and we were slightly misplaced in Madrid for an hour or so, but we made it back unharmed and ready to go for our last month.
Please just keep all of us and the students in your prayers this last month. We are trying to fit as much as we can in a very short time, so everything needs to be drenched in Christ and we want to be as effective as we can be. There are 2 specific students I would like to have deep conversations with before I leave, but I do not want to put their names here. If you could just be thinking about them and to pray that I will have the words to say to them.
I have been feeling lost lately. Like I am stuck between the US and Spain. I think it all comes down to fear. I am afraid of going home- afraid that everyone will have moved on without me, afraid that I don't have a place or a purpose there anymore. I am afraid to leave Spain- afraid of what will happen with the students we have met, afraid to be without my team. I'm trying not to focus on it, and instead make the most of the time I have left here, but there is this calendar on my wall of the events we have left... and its only one piece of paper. 4 short weeks. I have a to-do list on my desktop. I have people I need to meet with. I have suitcases under my bed that are just screaming to be packed (I am ignoring that particular urge at the moment)
Semana Santa was... interesting. The processions are a little creepy and somber. The whole thing made me very sad though- I think that Catholics here focus too much on the death of Christ and never on the resurrection. Easter is not a happy day. Jesus is always pictured dying on the cross. There are giant crosses and statues that are carried around the city during these processions. To carry one of these is a great "honor"- I quoted that because they believe that by taking on this great weight you can be granted atonement. Here is where I think it all comes in to play. It breaks my heart that they don't think the death and resurrection of Jesus are enough. He didn't mean enough. They have to walk barefoot and carry a heavy load around a city and say so many special prayers to "deserve" heaven. Traditions like this make our job here so much harder. The students have grown up seeing this all of the time. To them, belief in Jesus has to be this sad, somber existence of always having to repay for your own sins. They are amazed that this is something we enjoy and we are constantly trying to show them that following Jesus can be exciting and fun and full of life.
The second half of Semana Santa I finally got to leave Salamanca and Whitney, Ansley, Rebecca and I drove to Valencia (on the Southeast coast of Spain). Correction: I drove, they backseat drove :) It was great to get away for a little bit, see the ocean, get to see another city, HAVE A STARBUCKS and just relax for a few days. The drive home was a little crazy and we were slightly misplaced in Madrid for an hour or so, but we made it back unharmed and ready to go for our last month.
Please just keep all of us and the students in your prayers this last month. We are trying to fit as much as we can in a very short time, so everything needs to be drenched in Christ and we want to be as effective as we can be. There are 2 specific students I would like to have deep conversations with before I leave, but I do not want to put their names here. If you could just be thinking about them and to pray that I will have the words to say to them.
Sunday, March 29, 2009
don't look back in anger
Its been a very interesting week. Not bad, not great... just interesting. Had a few things that I had been praying about get an answer, but not how I expected. There were a few blows to my self-esteem, but also a lot of love and encouragement. I am still processing all of this and trying to figure out how it will shape me into the woman I am becoming here.
Fundraising for Proyecto Portugal is going extremely well. We are over the halfway point of the money we need to raise. Once we got to 150 Euro, the exchange students had to do a dance (which was performed very well if I do say so), at 500 euros we get to have a pie throwing party and when we reach the goal of 1125 Euros all of the boys on the team are going to shave their heads. There is going to be a benefit concert/auction on April 1st at a local club, so hopefully we will be able to raise the rest of the money before they all leave for Portugal on thursday.
Fundraising for Proyecto Portugal is going extremely well. We are over the halfway point of the money we need to raise. Once we got to 150 Euro, the exchange students had to do a dance (which was performed very well if I do say so), at 500 euros we get to have a pie throwing party and when we reach the goal of 1125 Euros all of the boys on the team are going to shave their heads. There is going to be a benefit concert/auction on April 1st at a local club, so hopefully we will be able to raise the rest of the money before they all leave for Portugal on thursday.
Monday, March 23, 2009
paint me over with your dreams
So I am officially registered for classes for this fall at MCC. I am taking a full course load, and I am going to be busy, but I am happy to be getting back on track with school and heading towards finishing a degree. These are my courses this fall:
Music Theory
Aural Perceptions
Piano 1
Chamber Chorale
Private Voice Lessons
Survey of Broadway Musicals
Psych 101
I may also add another internet class or 2 this summer to help get done faster, but I don't want to overload myself. I have also been given a partial scholarship for this fall, which will be a major blessing.
This weekend was amazing and restful for me. Had a lot of time with Spanish friends as well as American visitors. My favorite moment from the weekend was going out to lunch after church (Chinese food! Yum!) and just spending time with some of the team, Krin and Jared. I am also excited to get to spend more time with friends and have more time to take walks (and more pics for you, mom). Getting ready for Semana Santa.. plans are still not totally finalized, but I think I am taking a road trip with Rebecca, Whitney and maybe another person. I'm pretty thrilled, but also in the back of my mind is the realization that our time here is winding down.
Music Theory
Aural Perceptions
Piano 1
Chamber Chorale
Private Voice Lessons
Survey of Broadway Musicals
Psych 101
I may also add another internet class or 2 this summer to help get done faster, but I don't want to overload myself. I have also been given a partial scholarship for this fall, which will be a major blessing.
This weekend was amazing and restful for me. Had a lot of time with Spanish friends as well as American visitors. My favorite moment from the weekend was going out to lunch after church (Chinese food! Yum!) and just spending time with some of the team, Krin and Jared. I am also excited to get to spend more time with friends and have more time to take walks (and more pics for you, mom). Getting ready for Semana Santa.. plans are still not totally finalized, but I think I am taking a road trip with Rebecca, Whitney and maybe another person. I'm pretty thrilled, but also in the back of my mind is the realization that our time here is winding down.
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