Sunday, January 3, 2010

I'm tired of holdin' this inside my head

so slightly late, but Welcome 2010! As with the beginning of any year, I have been reminiscing about the past year and how far I have come, and also looking ahead to what this year will bring. 2009 was crazy and amazing and heartbreaking and so many other things. Jan 1st was very emotional for me as I realized that one year ago, I was on my way to Spain, meeting people who would change my life forever and who are some of my dearest friends. It's still hard to not be there. '09 was a time of discovering who I am and who God has made me to be (a lifelong thing I an thinking...) Looking back, I know that I need to hold on to those memories and the lessons I learned.

2010 is going to be busy! There is going to be a lot of celebrating in marriage and babies and so many things. It is exciting, but at the same time, it is hard sometimes to feel like you don't belong with this group. I have been feeling a little lost lately. Like there is not a place for me right now.

I'm trying to figure out where 2010 will take me and what God has to teach me this year. So far I am thinking its my two not favorite things: trust and patience. At the moment I feel like I am stuck in a rut, but I go between pushing so hard that my wheels are just spinning in place, or being so exhausted that I don't want to do anything. Right now, life is about finding that balance of where I need to be.